Well... after a prolonged obsessive bout of Chinese writing, I am now finding some comfort in expressing myself again with English.
I find English and Chinese constantly at struggle within me... like a Type A personality married couple dwelling inside my brain, english and chinese usually co-operate well together and one cannot do without the other... yet at the same time, they do fight for household dominance...
chinese has its way most of the time, but English snatches at opportunities to take authority over for certain periods and does not give expression to Chinese at all.
I still remember the whole of Yr 12 when I forced myself not to read any Chinese books, to improve my pidgin-English to some presentable level... yes English novels and papers were enjoyable as I slowly began to understand all its beauty and nuances... only that as soon as the English exam finished, heartless me swept all English things to a corner and immersed myself in chinese books... hoping that english would never come to haunt me again...
Unfortunately in the meantime... english and chinese got married... and its hard for them to file a divorce... so english now has its own permanent spot in the household... perhaps doing more good with chinese than either of them on their own.
Was thinking about making my msn space bilingual but then decided against it... after all i am not posting ECC Bilingual congregation newsletter... and it feels too much of a try-hard... showing off english in front of chinese reading ppl? showing off chinese in front of english reading ppl? that would be really sad to say the least...
as I was at work these 2 days... kept on reflecting so many things... things that happened to me.. things that happened to other ppl...
then I concluded that there are so many things in life, as we experience them... turn out to be so non-conventional... so anti-cliche(but sometimes a completely dramatic cliche is also an anti-cliche)... so beyond imagination...
suddenly the following words jumped into my head:
Life is strangely so...
Life is interestingly so...
then i realised here are some English words I cannot put in equivalent Chinese without losing some of its meanings...
and hence this blog post.
Dear Lord, I find that You really do have a brilliant sense of humour as You lovingly plan out many aspects of our lives. Help us to develope a sense of humour too as we look at our lives. Help us to see your humorous planning as you intend them to be, and not to see them as pain, frustration and misery.
Life is strangely so...
Addiction
one thing i pride about myself is that i hardly ever feel bored.
there always seem to be so many things out there i can enjoy.
unfortunately today i realised that i am indeed feeling bored, and the reason for my newly-acquired boredom is an addiction.
I am addicted to reading friends' blogs.
took me a while to realise this... b4, i do update my chinese blog frequently to comment on novels and tv series, and to keep in touch with net friends from china. and i do also like reading blogs SOMETIMES....BUT NOW...
every since knowing that bei, jj and jeremy all have blogs, my enthusiasm for blogs has, for some reason, skyrocketed. the first thing i do every day i go into my office is to do a very thorough, very complete blog scan of all friends... and then leave comments not b/c i feel touched or inspired, just out of habit...
well so today during 1 hr lunch, after finishing scanning all friends' blogs, i suddenly found myself so bored... wat can i do next?
this is indeed very pathetic... and i should have realised my addiction ages ago...
at the start of last wk when i learnt that irene deleted her blog.. my feeling of disappointment became reali exaggerated... but then she restarted her blog so i was all happy again.
not to mention that last wk i was trying to persuade wei and ff to do blogs as well... and the fact that ken also started a blog last friday din help me to overcome my addiction either...
yes will focus myself on AMS more to overcome my addiction. and in office spare time wil watch more anime or visit friends, hoping they can be effective distractions.
LOL
