I hate the me that do things apart from God.
And I am more and more glad when i can come back to Him and affirm that He loves me.
Exam is finally finished for me. Not much sense of holiday joy, cos the exam was only a sole 40 mins oral exam.
Went to see 2 ppl at graduation today: max and yi qiu. A few friends have also done a countdown calendar for our graduation. Do i look forward to my graduation? prob not, but still i think the red roses some ppl were holding looked awesome with the cardinal red hood for medicine.
Yes I would love some red roses on my graduation too. But i guess its useless to fantasize about such things.
after exam i usually become more careless, rude and disinhibited in things I say...(usually on a mild and prob unnoticeable level)but still hopefully din offend anyone by any chance.
At my blunt insistence med family changed gathering place from glenny to jeremy's house, and still a full house turned up... was touched.. to see the mostly complete family again. As I leave I just felt sad.
at church the whole youth grp saw paul & wenshu off to china mission, and danielle is already gone. happy occasion, and a weird and ill-founded shanghainese pride came to me. Its wonderful to see shanghainese ppl being such faithful children of God.
on a racist generalisation we shanghainese have very hardened hearts, think too much and too vulgarly for our own good and very absorbed in our self-centredness. So its a truely wonderful thing to see God shaping many of our kind into Godly atypical shanghainese.
And yes I would love to go for medical mission for my electives. But before He clearly sends me I would pray and not move. However this I could fantasize about, cos sally kindly offered me over lunch: "hey if u ever want to borrow money from me just let me know. I am not that rich but around 500 should be ok..."
LOL and Hugz to sally. I reali reali do miss u too.
The greatest achievement for me this semester is to realise God does love me, and I do have a relationship with Him and I long to be closer and closer. This love is in fact similar to how I love normal humans, but only better.
Only better, much better.
Or this really shouldn't be called an achievement? cos its all His grace.
i have also realised that wen a distressed prayer is not immediately answered, it reali is not that He doesn't care. When I continue to rely on Him, He will bring me peace and His answer will come.
in retrospect, I had a very poor opinion of the character of the God I worshipped, which was.... indeed disturbing.
Thanx to His love, that grew me in Godly wisdom.
