I am saving the sharing of this post till last just because it is so good... I've lost count how many times I nodded to the candid words throughout the article...
Lonely Ladies and Distracted Dudes
after a few years in the shrinkage I can certainly testify to such universal yearnings and the overall unsatisfactory nature of human relationships, witnessing misery to the point of despair with the lack of magic in general life and hence the inability for many to become "undepressed", ladies or dudes, single or partnered or married, nuclear family or extended, none spared. (gosh, do I really need to be so bleak?)
having spilled such harsh words, I guess it would be unfair if I do not admit to my own longstanding isolation and desperation, which annually more or less get a little bit worse over Christmas, and i more or less deal with it by taking up extra shifts on the seemingly altruistic ground that whoever has somewhere to go to celebrate Christmas should be given every opportunity to do so.
Christmas gatherings certainly do not fix existential problems as mentioned above... on the other hand, as "normal" human relationships more often than not end up unsatisfactory, many decide to then make their shrinks responsible for their emotional salvation.
this lands us in between a rock and a hard place.
we not only have our own isolation and desperation to deal with, there are also now these mission impossibles, and often, the pretence of emotional salvation when there is no such a thing, in order to keep people alive.
and fear in the most morbid kind of sense... that despite there be no surprise that sooner or later we fail, the consequences of our failures are often too dire.
my psychotherapist says a famous line year after year:
After every holiday i come back to be punished by my patients for having had a good time.
every time i hear him saying it thinking this is also going to be the story of my life to some extent for the rest of my life----
well, work in progress.
when i don't meltdown about such things anymore, maybe i will then be ready to become a consultant.
but yeh, in the meantime, everyone try a bit harder to tolerate your negative emotions a bit better.
and love yourselves a little bit more. :D
We can only try.
this weekend I did something I've been wanting to do for a little while -- reading Ecclesiastes in its entirety.
very different to reading it in snippets during daily devotions.
it made me laugh, and cry. gosh i loved the endless rant about meaninglessness, and found it very meaningful.
Happy 2015.
