mental state deterioration

we had a horrid run of 2 wks plus of absolutely impossible workload, and everyone (except pharmacist, God bless her~)expecting things to be done with the exact same efficiency as when ward was fully staffed... while refusing to offer any help and only adding to the stress.

i ended up in tears last friday at work (which i have not done since internship). mental state deteriorated since... saying nasty thoughtless things to ppl... then realising it... then mental state deteriorating even more.

and attending interviews in such burnt-out state... needing to say how passionate i am about my job... was a herculean effort.

however a conversation today redeemed me:

nurse: blah blah(patient)just said he wanted to kill his psychiatrist.
consultant (easy-going and happily married with 2 cute kids): I don't mind! Kill me, kill me now!! (in stressed-out tone of voice)

i asked her if she would like to spend sometime in HDU...囧

but that was redeeming.

before consultant left today, she forced me to take my afternoon off---
and i happily complied.