little things

on thursday we had a 13-hr day driving included...
that night i had a really beautiful dream.
first i was at church eating after-service refreshments: homemade cookies dripping with chocolate sauce.
then i went to lunch at a hotpot place, i ate hotpot & drank soup from a reali yummy chicken claypot.
then some friends came to me and dragged me to a reali huge bookshop, with a sea of mangas, chinese & english novels. Lots of friends were walking around. and i was under the impression I could spend my whole day there, reading & catching up with friends.
wen i woke up i didn't reali want to wake up, but after i wake up i was still happy, just like all these things has actually happened. ^_____^

i can get really scared & depressed talking to very persuasive & firm ppl.
hence usually a 99% avoidance.
these days i try to go along abit more with my spotaneous thoughts, and take up some courage to overcome a few of my own weaknesses.
but i guess one problem is that: i am very firm in my own sense, and it is an irritable burning pain wen my own sense of logic has no room to be accepted.
but I don't have to be rite.
It is not because when I am rite, then His Words become rite.
it is not because He is rite, then I could use it to prove that I am rite.
cos He is rite even when no one is rite.

i remember myself in one of those horrid states wen I think He wants to make bad things happen in my life and my heart becomes very rebellious.
but I think God's love has a postive likelihood ratio of infinity.
so there are no false positives---ie. its impossible for one to believe in God & His love & down the track eventually discover that this is not the case and after all He doesn't reali care about me.
there are only false negatives---wen one believes in one's own mind that He doesn't love, but the fact is that He really does, and He always does.
i dun understand EBP that well, maybe someone can help in refining the analogy. ^____^