Masha you are married~~~~>.<~~~~~

as i have patiently waited for years (and repeatedly mentioned so in this blog too lol)... this day has finally come.

(i think i should be feeling very heartbroken too but i am not feeling very heartbroken at the moment... ) :$$$$

after some self analysing (lol more) i realised maybe the fact that my favourite star/inspiration/role model has proven himself not gay (and capable of openly commiting to a long term heterosexual relationship too lol) is more important that anything else... T_T

the fact that all those years he cracked dirty jokes in midnight radio shows and talked about watching little movies because he really meant them (lol) and not because he was so anxious about something else that he had to use dirty jokes to defend/masquerade himself... i am finding it very touching... *sniffles* x 10

such positive experience of authenticity is probably more of an antidote for my lack of fundamental trust in human beings than many other things... (为什么我的道德观价值观听上去好像总有点不大对……-_-||||）
very relieved i haven't picked a wrong role model many years ago... *giggle*

so... I am again feeling more hopeful about life because of you Masha~ *sniffle some more*
growing old for a ocpd neurotic does not mean growing more pathological and timid and apathetic. it may indeed not be so bad a thing after all... ^_^

---now go forth and be happy and breed little Mashas--- XD