no more grumbling

i suddenly realised i am not all that intolerant of ppl..
different ppl hav low tolerance threshold of different things...
just like i am not so sensitive abt indifference & being ignored, but my stomach would churn with nausea at invasiveness...even if its mere "perceived invasiveness".
anyway this is not the point of this blog.

today i just remember this corny martial arts saying in chinese: 人在江湖﹐身不由己.
rather pessimistic & inappropriate... to describe lives that should have been made fully purposeful by the Lord. but i do think it has a fraction of truth describing the current condition of many of us...
how many times i procrastinate out of apathy, how many times i study out of mere primitive reflex, rather than having placed my certainty & hope in the Lord?
many times, i must confess, many times.
it is scary to think there r stages in your life wen talking/sharing to ppl about your problem won't really help, but only stimulates ur increasingly uncontrollable desire to complain & grumble, wen u don't even have the time to go thru the full process of feeling stressed and fearful and crying over a situation and finally internalising it to cope...
and even more scary to think such a lifestyle soon will become the story of your life and be indefinitely prolonged for who knows how many years ahead.
Loving God please have mercy on us terrible people.

yet bits of happiness r still found everywhere around us, in the daily things of vulgar vitality:
eg. i am looking forward to see the wei look-alike at friday outpatients, after strong recommendation from tiff... LOL
and also looking back and remembering all the other interesting doctors: there was also a brian look-alike, a ken look-alike, and of course the not so often seen jeremy look-alike. ^____^
perhaps we can also look forward to spotting any possible andrew look-alikes, wan look-alikes, kev look-alikes or HC look-alikes in the near or far future...
and our lives r still coloured by these bits of vulgar but entertaining things.